Finding a satisfactory life is a pressing question for many people and perhaps the most important question for all.
In this context, a study of Harvard University claims to have revealed the secret of the most important and only to achieve this, and this study lasted 75 years before the result of this result.
Setting priorities
In today’s world, setting priorities in one’s life is complicated. Maintaining a job, a home, or even a disturbing sign on Facebook, can be very worrying to people.
But what is the scientific destination in all this?
What are the real priorities that should be addressed?
The Harvard study focused on the physical and psychological aspects of two groups of people, 456 men who lived in Boston from 1939 to 2014 (a scholarship study), and a second group of 268 male Harvard graduates for the period 1939-1944 Glock study).
Long and samples
Due to the length of the research period, generations of researchers have been required to elicit lengthy results since pre-World War II.
During this long period, blood samples were taken and brain tests were carried out (when available), as well as several surveys and interactions among members of this group to collect results.
According to Robert Waldinger, director of the Harvard Adult Development Study, what is more important than all other things is good relationships.
Relationships and love
“The clearest message we get from this 75-year study is that it’s good relationships that make us healthy and happy in life,” says Waldinger.
“Happiness does not relate to the number of conferences I have talked about, the number of hits I have received in social media, the number of technical companies I have worked with, or the amount of efforts I have made.”
“Most important of all is that the greatest indicator of happiness in human life lies in love,” Waldinger says.
But what does love have to do with it? What is its role?
Need for the other
The study shows that having a reliable person helps to relax the nervous system, helps your brain to live longer and reduces emotional and physical pain.
The data also came very clear, that those who feel lonely are more likely to see their physical health deteriorates early and die younger.
“It’s not about the number of friends, but the extent of the covenant and the fulfillment of the relationship,” Valdiger says. “The extent of the close relationship is governance.”
All of this means that the number of people around you has no impact, whether they are too few or too few, or have only one romantic relationship. The question is about vulnerability, a sense of security and depth of the relationship, that is, you can see the image of yourself through the other, so you know who you are already ?!
How do you resist the death of love?
“One is love, the other is finding a way to deal with a life that resists the death of this love or pushing it away,” said George Vaillant, Harvard psychiatrist who led the study from 1972 to 2004.
So, for example, you may find love and the desired relationship, but you suddenly suffer from shock such as loss of job, loss of a parent, loss of a child, and do not know to deal with this shock, this eventually leads you to a confrontation that drives love away.
For Vailant, this means “the need to be able to prioritize as well as the ability to handle stress and sudden emotions”.
“… the data in the end is clear that you can get all the money you want, a successful career, be in good physical health, but without loving relationships, you will not be happy …”
Mature options
In any case you have to have mature options, from browsing Facebook or staying on a day off at work or going with your sister for example to weekend shopping.
Looking at a different decision is a dilemma in itself, but it determines to a certain degree what we will be. Chaotic relationships are only evil.
“Human relations are so complex and chaotic” in essence.
“Good life builds on good relations.”
These are the two most important advice from the psychiatrist Vailant.